I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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