You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
