well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
