She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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