I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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