What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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