never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
