The maid of honor just puked.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize