When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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