I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize