so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
