help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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