She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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