The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
