She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
