Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

(817): View more from Texas

dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches

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(916): View more from California

Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.

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(251): View more from Alabama

He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.

(1-251): View more from Alabama

Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.

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(518): View more from New York

Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke

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(905): View more from Ontario

He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.

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(310): View more from California

At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic

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