so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
