Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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