dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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