this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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