We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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