i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
