I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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