Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i think my mom watched the whole time
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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