I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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