i need an iv and a liver transplant
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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