After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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