He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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