Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
