As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
