You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
