"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I didn't shave. On purpose
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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