3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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