Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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