come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
