We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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