I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
