exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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