Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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