if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
