we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
