The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
