do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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