Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
