I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
