Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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