he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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