Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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