I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
