so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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