Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
