oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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