I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
