my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
