he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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