fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
