K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We need a shit load of segways right now
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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