Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize