My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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