That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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