bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
